Image by Alice♩ via FlickrSo many guys find just the right woman, only to see her go away. Inevitably, they regret it for a long time afterwards. Nobody wants that to happen and that doesn't have to happen to you! Today we’ll talk about one of the toughest but most rewarding steps towards keeping the love of a woman. It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong, really hard for some guys. If you're one of those guys then listen up. It takes time to implement changes. Have I told you about my neighbor who’s trying to get her husband to stop drinking. Believe me, it took a long time before Tom admitted he had a drinking problem. Finally he admitted he had a problem, that was the most important step in causing him to change.
But wait, there's more. The good word is admitting you’re wrong can be rewarding. I’ll give you an example. One of the things I always prided myself on was that I wasn’t self centered. I considered myself a pretty selfless person who was willing to surrender my needs for the sake of other people. I always thought I was the kind of person who gave more than he received. In short, I considered myself... selfless, not selfish.
Then one day my wife called me out on it. She called me selfish. As a person who had always believed that I was caring and selfless, I took immediate offense to this. "What the hell." I yelled, "you can’t call me selfish!" She was ruining the positive picture of myself. I wasn't about to let that happen!
Yes indeed, she did it. She called me self centered, why? Well, my mate usually comes home from work before I do. When I came home, I headed straight for the fridge because I was thirsty. Before giving her a hug and sounding delighted to see her I'd head for the refrigerator and leave her hanging. On top of that, I would usually go straight for the wood shop after I got my tall glass of sweet tea. Doing this once in a while would have been okay but it became a routine, my woman became angry with me.
Females need love, they want to know that they count. This perfectly selfless man (me), wasn’t tending to my wife’s wants. I was only thinking about myself, about my sweet tea and working in the wood shop. So, she called me out on it.
Of course I didn’t react well to this deliberate disrespect. Trying not to lose control over my actions, I continued my routine. Can you imagine how that affected our relationship? Have you ever got that look from someone? You know, if looks could kill kind of look or you're an idiot sort of look that sometimes comes from your boss.
A few days of that look made me take a good look at myself from her perspective. I realized the error of my way and apologized, which is always a required first step toward making up. Now I give my mate an embrace and a smooch when I arrive home. She'll pour a tall glass of sweet tea for me as we talk about each others day. She has no problem with me disappearing into the shop afterwards. I had attended to her wants. So now she allows me to merrily tend to mine afterwards. It was a big reward for a small change that put our relationship ahead of my own petty desires.
Change like that only happens when you’re true with yourself. If I didn’t admit that I was being selfish to both her and myself, there was no way the relationship was going to improve. The marriage still would have continued but to a lesser degree of bliss.
Accepting the fact of being wrong is also helpful when you look back at past relationships. Why did it end? What could you have done to made your relationship better? Would it have worked out if you had reacted differently in a certain situation? As long as you’re willing to learn from your mistakes, you’ll never fail.
If you'd like to find out more about finding and entering relationships with women, then you'll definitely want to know about How to keep her loving you
PS. Have you heard about the 5 myths that prevent guys from becoming great lovers?
Michael J.
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